I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Randomize
