I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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