She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
