Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
