THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
