have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
