It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
