Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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