Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
ttyl tear gas
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize