im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
