We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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