you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
