i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
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Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
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I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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