I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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