Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
is wine microwaveable?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
the room spins SO much faster in panama
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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