don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I booty called her while she was in labor.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
