I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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