I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
one might say we're banned from that church
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize