WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
