I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just gift wrapped bread.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I am available for nakedness
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
