i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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