i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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