Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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