I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
