I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
