so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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