My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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