ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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