Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
