i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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