new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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