I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Did I show you my penis last night?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
