Your dad touched me again.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
