Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
