mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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