I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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