Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
