I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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