Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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