Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
