best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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