You're my little dorito
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
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hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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