I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
