I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
