i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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