Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
