Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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