I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
