okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
