i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
