it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
