Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.

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  (617): M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad. http://tfl.nu/r9d8
  Replies (4) Good night (2972) Bad night (563)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off

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  (506): haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off http://tfl.nu/1xv0
  Replies (2) Good night (4441) Bad night (673)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?

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  (504): dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty? http://tfl.nu/lq5o
  Replies (42) Good night (1212) Bad night (2552)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.

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  (403): So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint. http://tfl.nu/8aqq
  Replies (17) Good night (4430) Bad night (560)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since

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  (847): he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since http://tfl.nu/tbwd
  Replies (13) Good night (1089) Bad night (3551)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.

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  (513): just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned. http://tfl.nu/25dz
  Replies (36) Good night (4925) Bad night (682)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  so yall hooked up?

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  (203): I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone. (1-203): so yall hooked up? http://tfl.nu/j54f
  Replies (19) Good night (5480) Bad night (1405)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good

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  (413): well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good http://tfl.nu/4dfc
  Replies (17) Good night (3648) Bad night (1869)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

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  (913): Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. http://tfl.nu/f12g
  Replies (1) Good night (2143) Bad night (682)
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  (714): View more from California

  IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX

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  (714): IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX http://tfl.nu/wmyf
  Replies (12) Good night (2293) Bad night (1211)
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  (310): View more from California

  At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?

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  (310): At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude? http://tfl.nu/d5u6
  Replies (5) Good night (1185) Bad night (491)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.

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  (919): Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork. http://tfl.nu/g3ta
  Replies (6) Good night (892) Bad night (555)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  How stoned are you?

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  (406): 3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant. (1-406): How stoned are you? http://tfl.nu/v7x3
  Replies (1) Good night (646) Bad night (255)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks

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  (306): I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks http://tfl.nu/ndt4
  Replies (10) Good night (878) Bad night (429)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives

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  (215): I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives http://tfl.nu/psy5
  Replies (4) Good night (305) Bad night (493)

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