Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep

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  (586): I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep http://tfl.nu/zumz
  Replies (3) Good night (813) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her

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  (405): Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her http://tfl.nu/rds9
  Replies (20) Good night (1114) Bad night (1981)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.

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  (251): Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance (303): It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime. http://tfl.nu/1z36
  Replies (16) Good night (2441) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone

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  (480): There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone http://tfl.nu/wpdv
  Replies (38) Good night (728) Bad night (1848)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!

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  (612): I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome! http://tfl.nu/jbu3
  Replies (21) Good night (5579) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character

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  (409): white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character http://tfl.nu/8uci
  Replies (13) Good night (6293) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.

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  (630): Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle. http://tfl.nu/mxjx
  Replies (7) Good night (907) Bad night (5010)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.

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  (845): Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka. http://tfl.nu/zb0y
  Replies (10) Good night (5908) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.

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  (917): i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing. http://tfl.nu/nkz8
  Replies (10) Good night (1122) Bad night (3218)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport

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  (505): Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport http://tfl.nu/iu8r
  Replies (9) Good night (5440) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime

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  (541): I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime http://tfl.nu/biqg
  Replies (9) Good night (2233) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."

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  (212): That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood." http://tfl.nu/okr0
  Replies (1) Good night (1027) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm a sociology major remember

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Well that and comm

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Basically you majored in how to get laid

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  (301): I'm a sociology major remember (301): Well that and comm (479): Basically you majored in how to get laid http://tfl.nu/9p1r
  Replies (2) Good night (1360) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.

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  (425): she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers. http://tfl.nu/95mp
  Replies (4) Good night (1173) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever

  (281): View more from Texas

  I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE

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  (713): You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever (281): I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE http://tfl.nu/gxon
  Replies (4) Good night (1000) Bad night (348)

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