Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
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Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
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She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.