Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm

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(360): View more from Washington

You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.

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(408): View more from California

They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(515): View more from Iowa

hes a good boy he deserves a good blow

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(618): View more from Illinois

You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.

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(330): View more from Ohio

found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.

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