Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(214): View more from Texas

Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(214): Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake. http://tfl.nu/8hx0

Replies (17) Good night (1251) Bad night (3921)
Favorite
(216): View more from Ohio

Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(216): Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations http://tfl.nu/f8qq

Replies (18) Good night (5467) Bad night (814)
Favorite
(434): View more from Virginia

At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(434): At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still http://tfl.nu/1pcd

Replies (9) Good night (1768) Bad night (3080)
Favorite
(402): View more from Nebraska

Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(402): Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails" http://tfl.nu/xka9

Replies (6) Good night (2784) Bad night (1054)
Favorite
(720): View more from Colorado

It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(720): It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer. http://tfl.nu/gu1j

Replies (8) Good night (1153) Bad night (1905)
Favorite
(+61): View more from Australia

We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+61): We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere http://tfl.nu/ed23

Replies (7) Good night (2529) Bad night (912)
Favorite
(541): View more from Oregon

I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(541): I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice" http://tfl.nu/9e22

Replies (10) Good night (2810) Bad night (756)
Favorite
(415): View more from California

Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(415): Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM! http://tfl.nu/lg7j

Replies (5) Good night (750) Bad night (2276)
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok http://tfl.nu/vgre

Replies (7) Good night (2218) Bad night (618)
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her" http://tfl.nu/6lbz

Replies (5) Good night (822) Bad night (469)
Favorite
(308): View more from Nebraska

I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(308): I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards. http://tfl.nu/31cw

Replies (8) Good night (1015) Bad night (751)
Favorite
(626): View more from California

Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.

(1-626): View more from California

I see you met someone special

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(626): Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection. (1-626): I see you met someone special http://tfl.nu/ncbz

Replies (2) Good night (694) Bad night (331)
Favorite
(415): View more from California

Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(415): Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator http://tfl.nu/2d96

Replies (3) Good night (1072) Bad night (292)
Favorite
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(814): he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL http://tfl.nu/xgy9

Replies (10) Good night (444) Bad night (478)
Favorite
(864): View more from South Carolina

Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(864): Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science. http://tfl.nu/tl5t

Replies (0) Good night (207) Bad night (334)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard