Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
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I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
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You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.