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• (903): View more from Texas

  I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him

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  27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

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• (512): View more from Texas

  You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.

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• (+33): View more from France

  Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.

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• (510): View more from California

  Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.

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• (914): View more from New York

  You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip

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  These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read

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• (310): View more from California

  Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.

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• (707): View more from California

  Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs

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• (727): View more from Florida

  You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.

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