Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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