Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
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