My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
