It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
