There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
