it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
