think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Holy sore nipples Batman
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
