Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
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She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
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I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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