Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Couch. On fire.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
