whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize